Now Borders, we realize you’re Up In Michigan and we realize that Michigan is a black hole from which no light or logic can escape. But can you please try to remember that you live in a big country? Four whole time zones big. So when it’s Friday out there in your little hell, it’s still Thursday here in the paradise of California. You keep harassing us about signing people up for your shitty Rewards, but these suckers get frustrated when they can’t use that 25% off coupon on borders.com because you’ve all gone to sleep. It’s almost as if you want us to shop at amazon.com. And we are.