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No, we don’t gift-wrap. What? Oh, we don’t care what that bookmark says. It also says we do special orders and we don’t do those anymore either. But we can see you’re one of those dumb motherfuckers who won’t take no for an answer, one of those dumb motherfuckers who thinks the customer is always right. So let us break it down to you real simple-like. This company hasn’t been able to pay us a living wage for over two years now. Look at this shirt we’re wearing, look at these pants–all tattered and holey. Look how skinny we’ve become. Wrap that present yourself, you lazy motherfucker.

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