An Open Letter to Xerox College Loan Corporation and Sallie Mae Let us begin by apologizing. For a long time we didn’t return your calls, didn’t open your mail, didn’t send you any checks. And for this we are sorry. We were working hard for a dying bookstore and still not making enough money for […]
Yearly Archives: 2010
9-15-10
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Maybe she’s fucking with him. The Oprah selected The Corrections for her book club too. But he expressed reservations about being picked by such a popular celebrity and she kicked him out of her club, dis-invited him from her dinner. That was nine years ago. We imagine she’s been anxiously waiting to pick his next […]
9-12-10
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Yesterday, on the train to work, so many Police. TSA, SFPD, FBI, DHS, CHP, ATF, DEA, INS, IRS. Big men wearing sunglasses underground. Some of them controlling languid working dogs. All of them sweating, all of them bearing weapons and heavy vests. And now we remember the date. Remember exactly where we were then. And […]
9-10-10
Friday, September 10, 2010
We’re closing second week of October. Because Borders lost $24,000,000 last quarter. We’re sure you are sorry to see us go, but where have you been these last five years? No, you can’t get a student discount. Or a damaged discount. Because the book is already discounted. No, you can’t return these books to another […]
8-1-10
Sunday, August 1, 2010
We’re sure you think you’re being very cute, getting your wife that Italy travel book because you’re surprising her with a trip to Rome this fall. But we wonder why you’re telling us. Do you have your Rewards card? Would you like to buy a book for a starving child? No, like we’ve said before, […]
7-21-10
Thursday, July 22, 2010
A little while ago we did a piece of time in the United States Army. And yeah, it sucked. But it sure beat working at Borders. Here’s a list–a partial list mind you–of reasons why: Medical/Dental Regular raises Weapons No layoffs Helicopters
6-23-10
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Tonight, we’re not so much angry as we are tired. We’re tired of doing four jobs for the pay of one. We’re tired of trying to cram books onto shelves already too full of unsellable crap. We’re tired of dealing with the crazy people bleeding in the bathrooms, the people you won’t let us kick […]
6-15-10
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Now Borders, we realize you’re Up In Michigan and we realize that Michigan is a black hole from which no light or logic can escape. But can you please try to remember that you live in a big country? Four whole time zones big. So when it’s Friday out there in your little hell, it’s […]
6-2-10
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Stop leaving piles of shit for us to put away. We already went through the agony of shelving 57 copies of Oprah’s biography, why must you insist we do it 57 more times? If we go goose hunting all around the store to find your precious copy of “Shamanic Egyptian Astrology,†why leave it wedged […]
5-26-10
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
No, we don’t gift-wrap. What? Oh, we don’t care what that bookmark says. It also says we do special orders and we don’t do those anymore either. But we can see you’re one of those dumb motherfuckers who won’t take no for an answer, one of those dumb motherfuckers who thinks the customer is always […]