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Category Archives: Books

Books.

9-10-10

We’re closing second week of October. Because Borders lost $24,000,000 last quarter. We’re sure you are sorry to see us go, but where have you been these last five years? No, you can’t get a student discount. Or a damaged discount. Because the book is already discounted. No, you can’t return these books to another […]

8-1-10

We’re sure you think you’re being very cute, getting your wife that Italy travel book because you’re surprising her with a trip to Rome this fall. But we wonder why you’re telling us. Do you have your Rewards card? Would you like to buy a book for a starving child? No, like we’ve said before, […]

7-21-10

A little while ago we did a piece of time in the United States Army. And yeah, it sucked. But it sure beat working at Borders. Here’s a list–a partial list mind you–of reasons why: Medical/Dental Regular raises Weapons No layoffs Helicopters

6-23-10

Tonight, we’re not so much angry as we are tired. We’re tired of doing four jobs for the pay of one. We’re tired of trying to cram books onto shelves already too full of unsellable crap. We’re tired of dealing with the crazy people bleeding in the bathrooms, the people you won’t let us kick […]

6-15-10

Now Borders, we realize you’re Up In Michigan and we realize that Michigan is a black hole from which no light or logic can escape. But can you please try to remember that you live in a big country? Four whole time zones big. So when it’s Friday out there in your little hell, it’s […]

6-2-10

Stop leaving piles of shit for us to put away. We already went through the agony of shelving 57 copies of Oprah’s biography, why must you insist we do it 57 more times? If we go goose hunting all around the store to find your precious copy of “Shamanic Egyptian Astrology,” why leave it wedged […]

5-26-10

No, we don’t gift-wrap. What? Oh, we don’t care what that bookmark says. It also says we do special orders and we don’t do those anymore either. But we can see you’re one of those dumb motherfuckers who won’t take no for an answer, one of those dumb motherfuckers who thinks the customer is always […]

5-20-10

Oh Jesus. You’re harassing us about Rewards again? Give it the fuck up. People either already have Rewards or don’t want Rewards. Rewards has reached critical mass. There’s nowhere to go from here but down. Don’t blame us because nobody wants to sign up for your emails. We have filtered your emails to our Spam […]

5-18-10

We signed a piece of paper promising that we would not write about your company in an unfavorable light. Companies make their employees sign such statements when they’re engaged in embarrassing behavior, or it’s the US Army. But isn’t that something? A bookstore actively trying to stifle free expression. We know what you’ll say—that companies […]

5-17-10

You take away our free coffee, our holiday pay, our raises. “We all must pull together,” you say. “We must do what’s best for the company.” Fuck your fucking company, we say. Smoking your cigar, drinking your cognac, you send 400 copies of Laura Bush and 300 copies of Newt Gingrich to San Francisco. To […]